I don't know what the hell is happening...I can't sleep whole night because of nightmares.
Why the world is so selfish? Why should I keep other happy to be happy myself? Why I have to think about others before my own happiness? Dont I have any rights to take my own decision. Why I have to pretend the world that everything is ok?
I know life is unpredictable but it's more uncertain to me, my dreams and my desires.
Everyday I cry for no reason, everyday I think for no reason, everyday my mind get tired of keeping you, you and you happy... where am I?
If I stay at home, do household and eat without working then I am a gold digger and if I go out to earn money and feed you then I am enacting a drama, and If I get to know your true colors, stop feeding you and minding my own business then I am selfish or egoistic.
Sometimes I literally feel like tolerating all the mental tortures, sucide is the most easiest way to rid of...
What if I do sucide? Or what if I let people around me to sucide! Nothing nothing matters to you all...but it matters when it come to live happily.
People wants to variefy my status seeing photo in social media. Why huh why! Why I have to give the proof of having healthy relationship if I haven't.
I wonder if I can pray to a god, to give all the success, happiness,my sleep and dreams to the people who always slander me, God bless you people.
Then obviously I will pray for them who are next to me, to support me.
Please let me live my life, I am fucking going crazy and it is completely shattering me form inside. I don't want to be part of this stereotypes while I am dieing inside. It completely sucks
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