Masculinity Disperse Entity Of Woman (real story)

         Getting married is big decision; it isn’t just about making a lifelong commitment to your partner. Marriage is a legal contract. When you get married, you not only accept rights and benefits, but you also take on legal and financial obligations. In Indian society, most of the girl they marry to a boy and life goes on just compromise without having their own basic rights. Before getting marries girls are usually taught for compromising their lives with men’s values, norms, religion, culture, adjustments etc. But while some other qualities like respectful, honest, caring, emotive and delicate to each other are equally important which are not accompanied because of masculinity. Girls marry a boy with lots of expectations either in love marriage or arrange marriage. Globally, more than one billion women are victimized by men. In most of the developed countries also does have the issue on patriarchy. Because of culture the patriarchy system is vigorous and the culture is contrived by human to live in human societies but it is pathetic for women.

          Girl ( gulafsa) married to a boy (dabbu) in 2016 A.D. Before their marriage her big sister (sanno) was already married in the same family. Gulafsa’s family thought that two sisters married in the same family live together happily. There were altogether four brothers and one sister of dabbu. The eldest one is her own sister husband live apart with partition where the second one also live with his family aside. gulafsa lived with her husband(dabbu), two years daughter (aayaat), father in law (sunowor), younger brother in law (sibbu), and sister in law (siti) who are unmarried. When there are two people living together can fall arguments as they consider different perception. Likewise, there used to have casual arguments every single day. It happens to be a quite louder when sibbu return from Saudi Arabia in November 2018. He used to urge dabbu asking for dowry where sibbu already took dowry how much gulafsa’s family gave in their wedding day. January 4 2019 was a grim day for gulfasa, aayat and her family’s life. Gulafsa and dabbu was quarreling when sanno came to settle down dabbu started abusing her using vulgar and irrelevant words, this was the reason she separated with them after they get married. Sanno felt their arguments are like as usual and it will be sort out after a minute and she went back to her home. It was 5:30 in the evening time for namaz (the ritual prayers prescribed by Islam to be observed five times a day) she heard holler. She ran out from her room towards gulafsa’s room she found her in laws (sunowor, dabbu, sibbu and siti) were scurry and ran out because of frightened. When she moved to her room, door was locked from outside and she felt the smell of burning Tyre. When she open the door her sister (gulafsa) were burning fortunately she save aayat because there was no light so she was unable to go around her mom. Sanno threw her scarf and tried to stubs out but fire was in flame and villagers were watching them without helping they were looking that like a stranger. Sanno called in 100; they came and took gulafsa to the hospital. Doctors refer her to the hospital in the city saying that she can’t be alive here. With some hope sanno called her family and ask them to visit hospital. While she was taking her to the hospital she was screaming, crying, asking for food and to drink water. She was in painful situation also she was asking her daughter for breast feeding. That might be a pathetic moment for her looking at gulafsa. She reached to the hospital and by good fortune she declared her pain and the situation to the police. But at the same time unfortunately she died. Everything was unexpected.

           After morn down gulafsa, villager’ commits sanno to compromise at first and only they will let burial her dead body. Some people were pressurizing in the hospital to compromise with family. Somehow they finish the burial and when they went to complaint against the assailant, police refuse to register FIR. Sanno father went to the shopkeeper and he told him to write an application for him. But the local police unwilling to take an action and when they went to CO then they got pressure to return back all the complaints that they are innocent. Police was known with the situation and having evidence rather than sympathizing also they were supposed to make every claim untrue. Even they persuade her to back home but sanno didn’t stop fighting for gulafsa she again went to SP told him about incident then the dabbu was arrested after two days but other three of them are roaming outside and she is still fighting for justice.

           There is declaration in India, “where women are worshiped, god resides” actually it’s totally unfair to assert where women are treated like this. The innocent gulafsa was killed for dowry when sanno is asking for a justice; police are using the callous words. A victim approaches to the police station or court seeking justice but she relives the trauma in the same place. What is the mistake of aayat that she lost her mom? Being women siti is helping for crime. How ridiculous is this society? Where are those rules? Where are those promises? Everything is manliness. This manliness is making women lifeless.

                                                                                                      By: Anu baskota,

FK Fellow under Shahkarya project a joint initiative of INSEC and PVCHR with the support of NOREC. Now I am in PVCHR for four months. I met Sanno during providing psycho- social support through testimonial therapy in PVCHR office. 

I have attached photo of aayat and the video clips of gulafsa (declaring statement after burning)

#PVCHR #INSEC #NOREC